Soul Friends

Wow how did such a long period of time go by without me writing, well I have written a few things here and there but nothing that was really good for the soul. To many things have happened for me to try and list them all but to sum things up, I realized during this oh so stressful period of time in our lives that all of my family and friends were too far away to be able to help in an emergency. Though my family and best friends are always just a phone call away, a phone call away is still too far when you need someone to be there right away. This of course had to change, so I went about compiling a list of emergency contacts, it was at this time that I realized that I did not have any really close friends around me, my neighbors are wonderful and would definitely help me out in a time of need but I had no real friends here all of my real friends were hours away, you know the ones that you can call any time day or night the ones that know you for you and still like you, they are there with a shoulder to cry on or just to vent to, they are the friends that you cannot talk to for months and then just like no time has passed at all you take up right where you left off. These friends are few and far between if you have a handful of friends like this then you should count yourself lucky. So how do you go about making friends, when you are in your (cough) thirty’s making friends is not as easy as it was when you were a kid, As an adult you have responsibilities and concerns that you never had to deal with as a child there is always the excuse of having no time which us mothers use on a regular basis, we are too busy to go for coffee, too busy to exercise and definitely too busy to try to make new friends. With three little ones I can honestly say that I am busy as can most mom’s . There is always something that needs to be done or someone that needs something from me, but because of how busy I am and all of the demands that I deal with in a day it was even more important to me that I make friends, both for my sanity and my soul. My husband had no problems making friends he after all worked, and in the military the guys you work with all have this kind of unexplainable bond, this did not help me. So now what? Well the first step to making friends in a new community is to actually leave your house, the second step is actually talking to other people. Now neither of these things has ever been a problem for me so imagine my surprise when even after taking my kids out every day I was still for the most part friendless , it seemed that though I wanted to make friends the other women in the neighborhood did not, I would go to the park and try to talk to the other moms( these sightings were few and far between) but after a brief and somewhat one sided conversation I would still be no further ahead than I had been before leaving the house. After great deliberation I came to a couple of conclusions ,First, I did not have the plague and did not need to be avoided, so therefore it was not me that was the problem , second most of the women in my neighborhood did not leave their homes( how could this be I couldn’t relate I loved being outside, going for walks and for the most part just getting out to explore and enjoy the world around me- and the kids get just as stir crazy as me), and third and this was a biggie there are apparently a bunch of un written rules to friend making on a military base, rules that no one talks about but that everyone but me seemed to know, I felt like I had stepped into a parallel universe, and was missing my best friends more than ever. Then one Sunday morning it happened I had once again taken my kids for a walk to the park my daughter saw another little girl and started to play with her, luckily kids at this age don’t have the same friend issues that come with age. The little girl’s mother made a comment to me and I pounced like a lion that has not eaten in days. I started to talk and for once it was not one sided nor was it forced, I had found a friend and not just any kind of friend but a soul friend. Since then I have met and become friends with some really great women, I am thankful for these connections and cherish what each of these unique women have brought into my life and the support that they have provided to me in times of need. True friends are rare and hard to come by, they truly are diamonds in the rough, but once you find them like a diamond they are almost indestructible. I am blessed to have some true friends, friends that make your soul sing. Here’s to my forever friends, for just being you. Love you all.