My little girl is growing up.

Today my little girl turns two years old, wow how the time flies. I can not imagine my life without her in it she brings me such joy and causes me to smile every day, she also causes me to pull out my hair and pound my head against the wall but this is all part of the course of raising an already stubborn and opionated little girl. At two she has already carved out her own little spot in the hearts of everyone that she has met and has formed such a unique personality. She is starting to become a little girl now and is very quickly losing that baby image; this brings me so much heart ache to know that she is growing up but also brings me a sense of wonderment for what the future holds. While I was pregnant with Gracie we had a complication and almost lost her thankfully she made it into this world safely and when she finally decided to make her arrival just over four weeks early she came into this world with attitude my labor and delivery were fast, fast, fast and she came out raring to go she lifted her head to look over at me when the nurse was trying to weigh her and clean her up and at that moment we knew this was no wilting flower but a little girl made of fire. She will go places and overcome anything that may get into her way because she has the attitude and the strength to do so. She will undoubtedly cause my heart to leap out of my chest along the way and she will probably be the source of many hospital visits for broken bones or stitches because with that attitude also comes a lack of any fear whatsoever. I know that she will make us proud in whatever she decides to do and I know that she will succeed at whatever she sets her mind and heart to because that is who she is, she is a fighter and has been since before she was born, So as I sit here and think over the last two years I am truly greatful to have such a wonderful daughter in my life and to be able to enjoy watching her as she grows up into a beautiful young lady.

More Meds=More Research

So G-man had a doctor’s appointment and what I have been trying to avoid for so long came full tilt to slap me in the face just another reminder of reality in our house. Gray’s autism specialist and I have been discussing the possibility of putting Gray on seizure medication for months now, I have been avoiding the issue as his seizure’s didn’t seem to be that bad and he can even go for a month or so without having one but since our last doctor’s appointment he had to be taken into the hospital for back to back seizure’s that I couldn’t get stopped a total of six the longest of which was over four minutes, the longest four minutes of my life I might add, it’s funny how our children can bring so much joy into our lives but can also be the cause of so many of those heart stopping moments. So after Gray was into the hospital I had gone in to see his specialist and she had given us some drugs to be administered in case of emergency the same drugs that they had given him in the hospital to stop his seizures in the emergency room. I was happy with this and thought that this would be the end of the anti-seizure discussion, no such luck I walked in yesterday sat down and the first thing out of the doctor’s mouth was “I just got a report about Gray’s progress with his speech and occupational therapy and I’m very impressed with how things are going,” yeah I was ecstatic with his progress as well but then came the but, “but she said I am not so happy with the seizures and the fact that after he has them he seems to regress in the progress that he has made,” what could I say it was the truth he does regress in any progress that we have made, then she asked the big question so how have his melt downs been, well as you all know he had that big one that lasted for thirty one hours so I let her know about that, but she already knew that because when I go in to see her I go in prepared with a break down of all of the good things and bad things and any changes that have been made in the household or with Gray’s situation so the major melt down was in the negatives coloumn that she had gone through before we entered her office, like I said she already knew about the melt down and she had already made up her mind as to how the appointment was going to go from there.

I think it is time that we start him onto the anti seizure medicine it will help with the seizures as well as to help with the emotional melt downs and given everything that is going on in your household and the stress that he will be going through in the next little while I really think that this is the best course of action to be taken. Okay so I could no longer avoid the subject, time to meet it head on, the seizures were not going away they were not being controlled by the other medication which had initially been thought might help by helping to reduce the anxiety and therefore reducing the stress related seizures, so since they were not going away and the other medication was not helping then we had to figure something else out something that was going to work to reduce the seizures if not stop them completely. She prescribed him a medication that should not interfere with his other medication and now it begins we will gradually increase the dosage so that his body will have time to adjust to it and then we will do the blood work that’s right did I mention that the new drugs bring with them one more thing to add onto the list of worry I now have to take my three and a half year old in for blood work every three months to make sure that the drugs are not having an adverse effect on his kidney’s so once again I go to my computer I sit and I research and become overwhelmed by the fact that I am again responsible for making a decision that will affect my sons life both now and in the future and hope that I am making the right choice that the drugs that I am putting my little man on are going to help him and hopefully that in the long run they are not going to have any bad effects. So tomorrow morning I will start the new drug and watch carefully for any side effects and pray that it works out okay.